I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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