just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
