Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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