you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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