I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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