Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
