FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
