sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize