They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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