I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize