you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married