am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?