im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's blow job season.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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