You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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