He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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