He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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