i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
