but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
