I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
