I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
