We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
