dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
