So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
