How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
