Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
