I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
