i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
