I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
