Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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