Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
