My balls are so social today.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
