You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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