worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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