well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
