Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
