I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
