I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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