No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
