I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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