Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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