i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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