I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so much tequila, so little girl.
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