I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
