what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
