So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
