worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
