Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it was like eating out sand paper
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
