taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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