Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
