I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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