Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
