You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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