eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
