so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
