Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Congratulations! We have a period
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
