If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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