I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
