I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
