he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
