she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
did i just pee glitter
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
